Hypocritical Oath

If there's one single bad attribute in a person that I absolutely cannot tolerate, it's hypocrisy. And within that broader category, the tendency to "forget" certain events/one's behaviors in the past for what's convenient at present. Every year around the time of my birthday, (this is how I know I'm getting old), I reflect on the past year through the people that I've spent it with, the good and bad. This time of year usually results in a cleansing of people who arn't a positive influence in my life (with New Years day coming in at a close second), and a realization that I put up with a lot of bullshit probably because I very much want to be a good friend to people who arn't a good friend to begin with.

I'm struggling with a depressing concept that I don't want to accept as truth, but seems to be proving itself time and again, at least within my own circle of acquaintances. People appear to be innately selfish, and when it comes down to it, only look out for number one. They also have a tendency to point out the behaviors in someone else that they displayed only moments, days, weeks or months ago. Not that I see myself as a Martyr, but I tend not to want to point out this hypocrisy at the risk of causing an argument. I'd rather take the blunt of it, all the while knowing that the situation will never get better until something is said.

Of all this, the saying "heavy is the head that wears the crown" repeats in my head - I suppose its well known that being "the bigger person" is the harder road to take. It seems I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't; if I cleanse myself of those negative influences, I'm left with the possibility of loneliness, anger and the resentment of another, or sit silent not being able to say what desperately needs to be said.

And when I do take the position of "I'm not gonna take it anymore!", a few days, weeks or months down the road, when that person is lonely and in need of a friend, I'll be there for them just like I always am, and the cycle will start all over again.

The Pig in the Room

If I never hear the words "Swine" or "Flu" again, it will be too soon. In the span of only a few days, the story has gone from backpage news page next to the picture of a kitty playing with a rabbit, to the front page of every newspaper, in every overheard conversation, and composes about 95% of news media content. Media sensationalism is not a new thing by any means; however, this is simply going above and beyond typical fearmongering paranoia.

Let's look at the facts of this so-called "killer pandemic". It is a virus that is new, so humans are likely to have little to no immunity. There is no vaccine, and it is highly contagious. The regular old boring flu is also a virus (the one you only hear about briefly in the pre-winter months), which mutates regularly, and as a result, never infects the same person in the same way twice. So once you get the flu and recover, you're still not safe. It can easily mutate and come back to kick you in the butt at a later date. Additionally, due to this constant mutation, the scientists who developed the seasonal flu vaccine each year can therefore only guess at the virus' composition based on last year's infections. As a result, the population is often just as vulnerable to the flu as if there was no vaccination available at all.
Perhaps the most important factor to remember is that this flu began in an area of the world that is, unfortunately, not as wealthy as our own, and without the standard of health care and hygiene to which we in Canada and the United States are accustomed. Naturally, people in this area may not have the nutrition/physical health or access to health treatments. AKA, less of an ability to ward off disease. It has already been said by many in the media that if you're generally healthy, swine flu will be a couple of days bed rest and you'll be ready to continue on with your life. Just like the regular old flu that's been kicking around since the dawn of human existence.

What I find most comical about this situation is the signs in my workplace's washroom advising people how to wash their hands "properly", to not touch food or their face without sanitizing, and to always "cover your mouth with your sleeve when you cough". As if this is a new concept! If people knew of half the bacteria and viruses, with the potential to make one very ill, that are on their hands on a daily basis, well, they'd probably never leave their house. I know my friends are keen to make fun of me for always carrying around bottles of One Step or Purell, and absolutely refusing to eat anything without washing or sanitizing my hands prior, or use my computer in the morning without wiping it down first. The difference is I've been sick maybe 2 or 3 times in the past year, and rarely enough to have to stay home from work.

And for a huge germaphobe like me, saying I'm not afraid of the big bad swine flu is saying something serious. Of course, no one wants to get sick, and its important to protect the very young, old, and those who are unhealthy from the disease by attempting to quell its spread. Relax - wash your hands and practice good hygiene like a big girl or boy, and you will be fine. Don't let paranoia take over logic - remember, the media is a business. It needs to make money too.

CTRL + ALT+ DELETE, you're gone

I was ironing a dress for a semi-formal I have on friday night, and got caught up in watching the latest episode of the Tudors. I guess in that 10 - 15 seconds, the iron developed and hot spot, and next thing I know, there is a singed circle about an inch in diameter smack dab in the centre of the skirt. I immediately think *SHIT..CTRL+Z..UNDO!

For that fraction of a second, I found myself reaching for an invisible keyboard. Then another fraction of a second later, I realized that in this situation, IRL, there's no such thing as an undo function. Working on a computer for 35 hours a week is really beginning to destort my sense of reality - as well as my expectations for my ability to control reality - someone REALLY needs to invent an undo function for everyday events.

In the mean time, I hope no one will notice the plasticy singe in the folds of my skirt on the dancefloor. Sigh.

4 Day Workweek!

It's not even Monday yet and there are only 4 days left till the weekend! Thank you Jesus (literally!) for your sacrifice. Oh man, I'm going to hell. Yep.

The Video Game Life

So among my many random theories, I've brought to life one that's sort of been milling around on the backburner of my mind ever since I got a credit card at 18, and particularly since I started having regular bills knocking at my virtual front door since the beginning of the year. I've never had a problem paying bills, unlike most people. Not that I look forward to them, but at the same time, I get a bit of a euphoric feeling when all my accounts blare "zero" from the computer screen. And whether or not I have an adequate surplus of disposable funds left over (I know my last post tells another story, but generally I don't worry about money), I feel like I've accomplished something, gotten that one step ahead, no matter how small.


I see credit and accounts like sub-levels in a video game - for example, World 1 in Mario 3 is the desert level, and within it are sub-stages until you reach the floating boat in the sky, defeat the koopa king, and restore the real King to his original human state before you can continue to world 2. Each world gets harder and harder, and each sub-level becomes more difficult, until finally, finally, you reach that princess that for SO long has been in another castle.


Each payment I make to my credit accounts, and every deposit I make in my high interest savings, is like beating one sub-level in the bigger world of life. Each payment made in full and on time to my Visa is equivalent to a 1-up green mushroom, giving me strength to get more credit in the future, obtain the trust of "the man", and to move on to bigger, higher worlds, eventually able to buy a car, rent or buy a condo, then on to a house, and all those consumerist things we aspire to in life.

Of course it doesn't have to be material goods we aspire to; one of my major goals, my castle which I must toil and trouble within and beat the fire-breathing dragon - the almighty dollar - before I can exit triumphant, is to tour the United Kingdom. For a year I've been scrimping, saving, forcing myself to open a savings and account and actually SAVE. With each deposit, I move closer and closer to that goal.

So whether your Princess is a car, a playstation, a university education, a trip to somewhere you've never been before, learning a new instrument...the list goes on. You get what I'm sayin.


Keep looking!! It's going to take a lot of castles until you find the right one, and it's not the destination, but how you got there!

Poor Piggy.

My stomach is in knots right now - I just budgeted my England/Scotland/Wales trip and it's going to cost me about $3000 buckeroonies. Being someone who's barely ever had more than a grand at one time in her bank account (and oh what a momentous day that was), this is gonna be a hard 5 months ahead.

It feels so weird having to live on a budget. I've had at least one job at all times since I was 16, except for a month or two here and there in those 7 years, and between high school and then University tuition and books, I've never struggled to pay the bills before. Hell, you could eat off of my credit score it's that squeaky clean.

I used to be able to live off $250 every two weeks, if that, all through university. And well too - never stopped myself from buying something I wanted, or going out for dinner or wherever. Now that number is just a fraction of my paycheck, and yet I'm finding myself having to limit and think about everything I do....when did this happen!? Well, rent and bills I never had before I worked full time suck, and it's going to take $250 per paycheck from this day forward to literally the day I leave to afford this trip. So I figure, all expenses accounted for, I'm going to have to live off of $100 a week for the next 5 months. Food, clothing, outages, misc....I feel like I'm on that till debt do us part show, dividing my megre change into little jars labelled "Food", "Entertainment", etc. I have to actually THINK about pulling out my credit card. I'm going to have to be a home body on the weekends. FML.

While I rant and rave, there's that little voice in my head that tells me I'm going to hell considering the economy and the number of people who WON'T be going on the trip of their dreams this year, in fact, may be wondering where their next meal is coming from or budgeting their life savings while they look for a job with no new income coming in. And here I am bitching about vacations. Don't worry, I'm not THAT heartless. I still spend that little second every day thanking God for my luck and situation that I do have a full time job and steady income. Knock on wood, it stays that way.

Still, it's going to be a change that's not going to be pleasant, and as the trip gets closer and becomes more real I know it will be worth it. Until then, anybody want to take me out, your treat? :)

(P.S. Thank the lordy for the forced savings of the tax return. I'm SO glad I didn't claim my education last year. Let's hope it's a fat one this year *fingers crossed*)

Earth Hour - Round Deux Results

For all those who said Earth Hour doesn't make a difference: Seeing is believing, and these pictures from downtown Toronto, before and during, prove it!


The differences between these shots is simply astounding. I am extremely proud to live in the City of Toronto and see so much concerted effort and action towards a cause that affects everyone all over the world. Check out http://www.earthhour.org/ for more pictures of Earth Hour from cities around the world.

My realization from this year's Earth Hour? I really don't need my DVD player or Nintendo Wii plugged in on standby when both are collecting dust in the corner. It's also a lot easier to get dressed for a saturday night by candlelight than I thought!