Timmy Horton's Etiquette 101

Tim Horton's may be Canadian's favourite joint on the block, but I fear a little bit of that American ownership rubbed off on us customers, unbeknownest to us. I visit the local Timmy's for my pre-work morning coffee nearly every morning of the week, like a good little Canadian, and I've recently noted a disturbing trend - simply put, Timmy's etiquette at my local has gone down the tube.

Take, for example, the day a co-worker and I were standing in line - nothing out of the ordinary, waiting for the next available cashier. At the sound of "next, please!", my co-worker and I halted our conversation and turned our attention to the cashiers' area. In the 1.7 seconds or less it took for natural reaction time, a woman behind us, who clearly possessed the reaction time of a puma, annoyingly whined "She saaaaid, YOU'RE NEXT". Thank you superwench. Wouldn't want to play against you in a video game, you'd probably whoop my delayed-reaction time butt.

Or again, the following morning. As I waited by myself in line, I removed my headphones so as to ensure being able to hear the cashier's call, considering that I too have been largely annoyed by those who stand oblivious to the call as they rock out to the latest German rock gem to hit this side of the Atlantic. When I finally heard the enviable "next!", I almost instantaneously felt a swift swipe across the back of my arm - one hard enough to cause a sharp sting. As I looked back in surprise, I was faced with large man glowering down at me, the kind of look I might have gotten if I had insulted his mother or favourite football team. What makes a stranger think he or she can lay a hand on another? Withdrawal symptoms via coffee deficiency, or no.

Or yesterday - as I left the restaurant, piping hot coffee in the right hand, newspaper and purse in the left, a young guy opened the door for me. I actually recall thinking "finally, a considerate Timmy's patron!" Well, the thought didn't last long - he had merely pushed it open, deeked in during the momentum of its closing, allowing for a quick test of my reaction time, juggling my coffee in my full hands and managing to free myself long enough to stop the door from hitting me smack dab in the face. I must have given him a visible enough dirty look, as he briely came out of his stupor long enough to mutter "oh, sorry..."

Timmy's is not a house of ill repute, and us Canadians are known for being polite. So when did this transition begin? Maybe it's just my little downtown Toronto location in the business area of the neighbourhood, or the time of the morning, or the weather, or the alignment of the stars - either way, I hope this isn't a trend that continues.