Step Off.

Other than the blackmark I've already discussed, Christmas went great this year. I did a lot of fun christmasy things with friends, had my family come down for dinner (as extremely disfunctional as they are - so disfunctional I feel uncomfortable discribing them over the Internet for fear of seriously offending someone), and went to Church. No seriously. One of my favourite parts about Christmas is going to Church on Christmas Eve. Nobody believes me when I say that, especially Justin's brothers - except that now I totally understand why. Before we move on....

DISCLAIMER: What I'm about to say is probably offensive to many people, especially Catholics. I have no problem with what people believe or don't believe, but remember - I except your opinion so please except mine. That said, don't say I didn't warn you...

When I was younger I used to go to Church every Sunday with my mom and our family friends. Funny thing is my family was no where near religious, except for celebrating the obligatory holidays that most "Christian" families celebrate (Christmas, Easter, etc.). Looking back on it, I think it was mainly a way of keeping in contact with these friends whom my mother used to work with before she got pregant with me and moved to her current place of work. And also to get away from my father, who I don't think stepped into a Church after his wedding, and probably never will again. Good thing too, because I'm pretty sure with his track record in his treatment of my mother and me, a lightning bolt would come fly out from the cross and he'd turn to dust, much in the way a vampire is destroyed when it enters a home uninvited. Moving on...

Point is, we stopped going after my parents were divorced and I grew a little older. I've never been religious but I've always inately believed in God. There are many things I've never believed that are projected by Priests and the Bible - things I never believed even before I ever had a solid understanding of religion. These are truths that resonate at the bottom of my soul.

A few of the most significant are:

1) There is no such thing as hell
2) There is no such thing as the devil
3) Humans reincarnate. The reason we are here on earth is to learn a specific lesson or set of lessons to progress our eternal soul's experience and knowledge before we return to the Afterlife and God's presence

And lastly, and perhaps most importantly: I do not need to be in a Church to talk to God, and I do not need some blessed Priest or other Holy Person to talk to him for me.

That being said (and which lies at the base of the rant I'm gearing up for :), I still go to Church every Christmas Eve. The Church we attend now is in Scarbourgh, with the same people we attended with back in the day. It's a different Church, but of the same caliber. It's neither Catholic nor Anglican nor Methodist or any other of those sects. The term "Baptist" is in its name, but I like to call it "Non-Donominational" because it's very open and informal. It's a sort of "attend, listen, pray, do what you gotta do and take what you will or won't from it". This Church's Christmas Sermon includes singing carols, listening to a few choice Bible verses describing the birth of Jesus, and a few less traditional christmas stories. This year there was a story called "Missing Jesus" (I don't know why but I had to keep myself from laughing at that title...all I could think was....HOLY SHIT baby Jesus is missing! God is gonna be sooo pissed...) which was about a plastic jesus doll which was missing from a nativity scene and ultimately brought together one well-off family with another desparate and needy family on Christmas Eve. Another called "Why the Pine Tree is an Evergreen" spoke of a few Christian morals of accepting and assisting all who are needy and ill - you know, good karma and all that. Then we light candles and turn the lights of the church down, and we say a prayer for the coming year.

There is no talk of guilt or fear of God, there is only messages of love, peace and the spirit of Christmas, and how to apply it to everyday life. Each and every person in attendance is there due to an inheriant love of God. Let's fast forward to the Anglican Mass, which I attended later in the evening with Justin's family.

(Pssst...here comes to the contraversial part)

Super quick history of the Anglican faith: in 15 -something, King Henry VIII was a horny bastard and desparately wanted a son he believed his current wife couldn't produce. Cue hot babe who desparately wants to be Queen and knows how to manipulate said King. Said king wants to marry said hot babe, but can't due to his current marriage to his wife. King Henry then goes to the Pope and asks for a divorce. Pope cries BLASPHEMY, and King Henry denounces him as a heretic and turns his back on the Catholic Church (the one and only large Church at the time). Henry is excommunicated by the Pope, and Henry decides to take his ball and go home and make a "better" Church - one where the Bible is translated into English, and one where people can worship without the need to "speak" to God through a Priest.

This new faith called "Protestant" quickly grew within England, and then the rest of the world (and caused many a fued). It does hold a lot of the Catholic traditions however, including my favourite - good ol' Catholic guilt. What I mean by that is that the Church and its sermons and instructions on how to worship God is set up to make you feel guilty for living, at least in my eyes. For example, this sermon I attended Christmas Eve included a section where the congregation was made to repeat something called Confession of our Sins. It went something like this...

Dear Jesus - I'm not worthy of living. I have committed sins and against you and against others. I have not lived the way you want me to live. I promise not to do bad things anymore - at least until the next time I have to repeat this same bull-ish again next sunday.

Sounds harsh I know. But I'm sorry - God put us on this Earth to make mistakes and learn from them. "To err is human". I understand that Jesus died for our sins, but I don't believe Jesus or God wants us to live our lives in constant fear of displeasing him. Nor to I believe that God cares if I'm baptized (which, I'm sure you've guessed by now, I'm not). On the back of the pamphlet given to us before the sermon, it read: "If you are baptised, please come to the front of the alter to recieve Holy Communion. If you are not, feel free to recieve I blessing". Needless to say, I declined the offer. I also don't believe that God cares whether or not I was dunked underwater when I was too young to speak or understand the ritual. If I love God and want recieve his body as he claims in the bible, why should I be excluded. And for that matter, what kind of religion excludes certain people from others? Is this not essentially saying that God loves some of his children more than others?

I'm sorry, but one thing I definately know is true - God loves everyone and everything he created equally. And no "Holy" person is going to tell me differently.