Cow Tipping

It's a pretty simple equation in my mind, apparently more complex in other's. I've never really been able to wrap my head around it - when you go to a bar, the person behind the bar being paid to serve you takes your order, takes 2.7 seconds to crack a bottle or pour liquid into a glass, charges you an astronomical amount for what you're getting, and then on top of that, expects you to give him/her a tip. That which I question is, what have you, the bartender, done in that 2.7 seconds that warrants my gift of generosity? Have you gone above and beyond your duties? No. Have you exerted yourself in any commendable manner? Hardly. The only thing I could possibly fathom that would warrant deserving a tip is if said bartender has made a particularly difficult drink, quickly and efficiently served you despite a packed bar, or served a group many drinks at once. However, at 10:30 pm when the bar is empty and I've ordered a rye and ginger and a beer, I hardly see any category of tip requirements being met.

So when I get told "Next time you order a round, go to the other bartender Kenny, he'll be your best friend" with attitude and an eye roll from some dumb blonde who has voluntarily chosen the job of bartender, and is no doubt aware of the set pay rate and the job requirements, I think I was justifiably pissed. If you have to ask for a tip, chances are you didn't deserve one in the first place. And if you think you'll be tipped after being rude and insulting to your customer, think again. Sometimes I really just don't get people. And like the Care Bear Caring Meter, my faith in humanity dips even lower on the scale.

P.S. Please don't get me wrong - I tip wait staff and cab drivers and people in customer service sectors who often go above and beyond their duties. However, I don't think it's mandatory and will not tip, or will otherwise tip significantly less, when I see little effort put into the job at hand. What I can't stand to see is people who tip automatically or don't change the tip according to the quality of work. This is just feeding the fire, making workers think they don't have to actually work for the generosity of their patrons. In fact, they come to expect a tip, hence Brainless Betty behind the counter at Neutral Saturday night. Why do we shake our heads when we see a child having a temper tantrum in a shopping mall, when that child is rewarded for his or her actions by receiving the candy or item that he or she was crying over? Yet, we do not find it problematic to tip customer service employees who are rude/careless/lazy, etc., and who are likely just as undeserving as that spoiled child? Isn't it enough that we're frequenting their establishment, keeping them in a job in the first place? Like I said before, if you don't like your job and the set payrate, then get another. It's not like there isn't any.



And for that matter, how come I never gotten a tip? I work in customer service - behind the till or on the floor of a retail store. I consistently go out of my way to help customers find what they're looking for, make calls to suppliers and bother managers on their lunch break to answer customer concerns. Do you think I've ever gotten a tip? Nor do I expect one - and nor should anyone of any position. So if you do get a tip, be thankful. And if not, work harder and realize that your customers probably work just as hard, if not harder, for their money than you.